Supreme Court reaffirms role of corporations as people

The Supreme's reaffirm that "corporations are people, my friend". With all the responsibilities and duties that entails. For instance, corporations can spend unlimited sums of money to sway political campaigns. You get to spend a maximum of $2,500. You can vote, corporations don't need to - all they need to do is purchase their local politician at Walmart (it's the only thing there that wasn't made in China). If you defraud even a few people, you can go to jail whereas corporations, esp. big banking ones, get tax-payer funded bailouts when they screw over millions of people. Corporations can go bankrupt, and the big financial ones have worked very hard to ensure that if you need it, it's meaningless.

So you see: corporations really are people. With fewer responsibilities and no obligations. Unlike you.

Carolyn Ann