Britain introduces a death tax

"That's five pounds, six shilling thrupenny farthing, please"

"For what?"

"Dying"

"Come again?"

"You died. You owe the Treasury five pounds, six shillings, thrupenny and a farthing."

"What you going to do if I don't pay?"

"You have to pay. It's a death tax. You drop dead, you pay the tax. It's simple."

"Okay, you're a lune."

"There's no reason to get personal"

"I've just died, and you're taxing my estate to the hilt (I had a council house) and now you're taxing me because I'm dead?"

"Yes"

"Yes? Yes, what?"

"Yes what, what?"

"I'm dead"

"Yes, I know. You owe five ...."

"Yeah, you've said"

"What happens if I don't pay?"

"Erm..." (looks it up) "you're undead"

"I can see the Mrs again?"

"No, you're dead"

"Hang on a minute. You've got people at my funeral!"

"Well, we have to make sure you're really dead."

"What? I might be snowboarding in Monaco on the payments I get for being dead?"

"You might not be dead. You might be avoiding the death tax!"

"By pretending to be alive?"

"Precisely!"

"I'm glad you can see the sense in that!"

"Some try it, you know"

"What, pretend be alive, even though they're dead, to avoid paying you idiots?"

"There's no need to be like that! But, yes. People try to fool unemployment all the time."

"Being unemployed is a bit different to being dead"

(Perpetually unemployed youth) "Not if you're me!"

(His mother) "Oh shut up! At least you're not taxed like your Granddad was when he died!)

"Anyway, if you're unemployed, you're not dead..."

"Sir, not only are you dead, you're saying you're unemployed as well?... Are you claiming unemployment benefits while you're dead?"

Carolyn Ann